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July 19th of 2018 marked the day we miscarried our precious little baby that we had so long prayed and hoped for. Exactly one year later--July 19th of 2019 marked the day we came home from the hospital as a family of 4, adding a healthy little baby girl (Dakota Catherine) to our family. I would have never dreamed last year that I was going to be able to get pregnant again, let alone be bringing home a precious baby exactly 1 year later. July 19th, 2018 I was in a valley--I was struggling with God's plan for our lives and struggling to trust in Him. I was at one of the low points in my life and in my faith journey. We grow spiritually when we are in these valleys--I clung to scripture, prayer, and seeking out God to get me through during this time.
July 19th, 2019 I was up on top of the mountain of life--I was so happy and joyful. I was coming home with a healthy baby girl with my wonderful husband and precious 2 year old boy--we were starting our family as a family of 4, something I would have never dreamed would be happening. We are praising God when we are up on top of these mountains in life. I know I did not thank Him as much as I thought I would have--lack of sleep, hormones, the feelings of being overwhelmed with 2 babies now, etc all did impede on my time focusing on God. But 6 weeks later, as Dakota is napping on my chest while I work on my online class and type this---I am thanking God for her little toes that are just like her Daddy's; I'm thanking God for her little smiles as she drifts in and out of sleep; I'm thanking God for her blonde hair and blue eyes that she gets from me. Im thanking God for Grady and his fun, adventurous, jokester personality and his health. I’m thanking God for allowing me to borrow Dakota and Grady for their lives here on earth and pray that Justin and I are able to bring them up as He sees fit. I pray they both come to know and understand God at a young age.
We should always be thankful, no matter what season we are in in our lives, and we should express this to God. But I do know it is so incredibly difficult to be thankful when you are treading through rough waters, when you are questioning God's plan. It is easy right now for me to be praising and thanking God because we are in a joyful time in our lives. But my hope is that I continue to thank God daily..several times a day, no matter what season I am in.
I pray for each and every one of you who is reading this right now whose heart longs to have a little one napping on her chest. I know you reading this is likely tearing your heart apart, as you would do anything to have a baby right now. My heart hurts for you and my hope is that my story can bring you some hope and reassurance that God has a plan for you. He has written out a specific plan exactly for you and your spouse--the perfect plan. Although I can guarantee it will have valleys and mountains. I pray that God gives you that strength, hope and comfort to keep pursuing your dreams of growing your family. I pray that God opens the door to growing your family, and opens you and your spouse’s minds to Him growing your family however he sees fit. I pray that schedules, lab results, finances, hormones, etc all align for you to have that miracle baby you have been praying for. I hope that you continue to be thankful. Thank God daily for all of the blessings you do have and be still knowing His plan is far better than you can ever imagine.
My mom shared this a song with me this week by Randy Houser and it is so fitting for our story, as it is or will be for many of yours as well:
”In God's time A million years might only be a single day And everything He does gets done His own way In God's time
Oh, but no one knows Not you or me It might be tomorrow or it might never be Oh, but don't lose faith Put it in His hands 'Cause it might be that He might have a bigger plan Than you had in mind Miracles happen In God's time
And in God's time You'll finally get the chance to hold your baby girl And all the sudden everything'll make sense in this crazy world In God's time“
Love and baby blessings,
Andrea
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